First one bank announced it will only accept digital currency.
Now the Reserve Bank of Australia has announced it is heading into digital currency.
As the moth is to the flame, so are the follies of man.
Artificial intelligence and the next level of quantum computing will render passwords and encryption efforts obsolete.
Goodbye safety. Hello chaos.
ALERT: We’re sorry, we experienced a data beach and your account was compromised. We cannot release funds until you re-verify your identity. Please submit a certified copy of your birth certificate, government photo ID, passport, or drivers license. Due to the volume of re-verification the process may 1 to 3 months. Thank for your patience as we all work through this difficult process together.
NOTICE: Remember, there are only thirty days left to turn in all of your money and receive digital currency at an authorized location or it will be valueless.
BUZZZ. Sorry, your purchase cannot be processed at this time. You have reached your allotted amount of medical marijuana for the week. Please check back later.
TINNGGG. Your digital currency purchase cannot be completed because it does not align with the fair share allocations adopted by the government last week.
BUZZZ: Your purchase is having a different product at a slightly higher price and later date of delivery in order to give people in another country their fair share of the economic pie.
BUZZZ. During this period of unrest purchases of that item is not permitted.
NOTICE: Internet service is not available here and your transaction cannot be processed.
DING. Your entertainment purchase pattern indicates a trend towards individuality. A social sensitivity counselor will be in contact. Thank you.
BUZZZ. We’re sorry, environmental regulations prohibit purchase or delivery of that item into your location.
TINNGG: We’re sorry, air travel to that location would be environmentally irresponsible. We are redirecting your purchase to travel by rail.
DING: Donations to that charity have been temporarily suspended due to non-alignment with the current social objectives. Suitable alternatives appear below.
Your political donations indicate liberalism that is at odds with current social goals. Please be assured your vote remains secret. However please consider conforming your donations to the current goals.
You purchases indicate a lesser degree of productivity and value to society. Please adjust your purchasing habits and attendant behavior to increase your social utility score.
I’m sorry, that medical treatment is not authorized for you according to the treatment protocols prescribed for you.
BUZZZZ. You’ve reached your caloric intake for the week as determined by the national Institute of health and that item cannot be processed for you.
DING. High fructose corn syrup is not authorized for purchase in your location. Your transaction cannot be processed.
Dear Susan, you are receiving this notice because we did not see digital currency expenditure for the recently mandated booster #30.
NOTICE: Mr. Mendez, your purchasing patterns at the establishments you visit indicate an avoidance of transgender and LBGT locations. The social sensitivity protocol requires that purchases outside those locations will remain authorized until such time as an appropriate number of transactions are completed in those locations indicating you are a functioning member of a sensitive, harmonious, inclusive, and vibrant society.
We’re sorry, you’ve reached your fossil fuel limit this week, and to encourage transition to all electric vehicles you will need to use an electric vehicle or public transportation
NOTICE: To complete your digital currency transaction you will need to enter the code provided for you by the Department of Labor.
I’m sorry you’re trying to use digital currency at a doctor’s office for which you are not authorized. Please check your records and report to the appropriate office under the plan we have provided for you.
Digital currency purchase cannot be completed because you have reached your allocated amount of nicotine for this week.
BUZZZ: Your digital currency purchase cannot be completed because it would reach the alcohol consumption level determined the department of health has determined
would have adverse economic consequences, consume extra societal resources, and deprive others of their fair share of the general reallocated revenue.
DING. We’re sorry, you have reached the maximum number of driving miles allowed this period, and your digital payment cannot be processed. We apologize for any inconvenience. Please consider public transportation.
BUZZZ. The Internet is down after the storm, and because all cash was collected and converted to digital currency we are unable to supply what you need.
NOTICE: We regret to inform you that the central bank was hacked, and all your money was removed to some unknown location overseas. We are asking all the other countries if they have seen it and will let you know as soon as we hear anything. HAVE A NICE DAY.
Martin C. Boire
October 17, 2023
Overly educated, overly experienced. Often right, often wrong.
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